It’s the best time of year… football season. Not looking forward to getting angry looks from the wife or girlfriend when you want to sit on the couch all day Sunday? Turn her into a football fanatic in 10 easy steps.

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Hello and welcome sports fans – um, I mean marketing and technology fans. Before I came to Wired to immerse myself in the latest gadgets, technology, and innovation, I spent 8 years at ESPN.com marketing my first love, sports.

So as football season 2008 kicks off, indulge me and I’ll tell you how to turn your wife or girlfriend into a football fanatic in 10 easy steps – think of it as marketing the game to her.

And as a bonus, I’ll give you my 7 rules for scalping tickets – think of that as a tutorial in business negotiation skills.

Note that this was based on a true story, and if you have any feedback, send your comments to: MarketingGuy@Wired.com.

Let’s get right to it:

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This week’s episode is part rant, part How-to, and part customer service failure, as I take you through my special experience when switching cell phone carriers.

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When you’re just a kid, your mom tells you you’re special. That there’s nobody else in the entire world like you. And as I stood in line, speaking to the hapless worker behind the AT&T counter – telling my story, again – I was beginning to think that, well, that just may be true. Somehow, some way, I was the most unique mobile cell phone customer on the entire planet, and not a single person at AT&T, Sprint, Apple, Best Buy, or the vast expanse of the entire world wide web could solve my problem.

It was the weekend of July 12, and for fans of the Apple iPhone, it was truly Christmas in July. I had held off purchasing the original model, but for the past six months I had subscribed to 3 different iPhone RSS feeds, soaking in every rumor and secret screenshot, and was ready to get my hands on a gleaming new iPhone 3G.

This story is not about my quest to get the actual phone, although it could be. I bailed out on a 4-hour line at the 5th Avenue store in Manhattan that Friday night, was told inventory was sold out at an AT&T store on Saturday morning, arrived too late to get in line at the Apple Store again on Saturday night, but finally clutched the device in my hands after a 2 ½ hour wait at the Soho store on Sunday afternoon. The phone itself was mine.

My story is about what I thought was a very, very simple question.

Boy was I wrong…

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Marketing can be quite difficult. John Wanamaker, who founded one of the first department stores in the US, is attributed as saying, “Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.”

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Of course, there are always new tools that aim to make marketing easier and more quantifiable. For example, Wired is currently trying out a technology from a new company called SnapAds that simplifies performance testing. They take a banner ad for a Wired Magazine Subscription – you know the ones, “Subscribe to Wired… Just $10 a year” – and simultaneously are able to test 9 different covers, 6 product offers, 7 calls to action, and 10 colors. That’s a lot of data to analyze, and fairly groundbreaking.

So as I was walking home through Union Square in Manhattan recently, I came across an artist displaying his work, and I was struck by something so simple, that I wanted to highlight it and share it with you.

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For this week’s podcast, I interviewed Julia Allison, who appears on the cover of the August issue of Wired Magazine. We talked about tips for self-promotion in the new media age, personality-based marketing, and why she won’t be buying an iPhone.

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“BRACE YOURSELF”

Those were the words that Wired Editor-in-Chief Chris Anderson said to me when I told him I was interviewing Julia Allison for my podcast.

I’d already seen the media maelstrom that starts churning whenever her name is mentioned. And so had he. In response to a thank you e-mail Julia wrote to him, knowing all the flack he would take for putting her on the cover, Chris stated “Don’t worry – we’re big boys and we knew what we were doing.”

Put simply, what he was doing was marketing. Some people love her. Many people hate her. But what you can’t deny is that she’s a lightning rod for publicity. Would you prefer the alternative of a boring cover that doesn’t evoke any reaction?

I’ve heard more than one person say, “Oh my God, I hate that girl, I was on her web site for 20 minutes and I can’t believe the things she posts on there.” From a strictly marketing perspective, the key phrase is “on her site for 20 minutes.” What is the average time spent on your blog or website?

Julia talks about:

• What three elements make the top YouTube video of all time
• What is the “The Worst Idea She’s Ever Had”
• Why she refuses to get the new iPhone 3G

So pull up a chair and play the podcast above or download via iTunes.

Photos and videos!

Continue reading to see multimedia elements discussed in our interview:

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In this week’s episode, I get away from million dollar advertising agencies with slickly produced ad campaigns, and in the immortal words of the Doobie Brothers, I’m taking it to the streets.

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As an online marketer of ‘new media’ I’m always on the lookout for effective ways to use new technology, be it viral campaigns on social media sites or tapping into new platforms such as the iPhone. But sometimes the most effective marketing campaign is standing right in front of you every single day.

Let me explain.

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In this week’s episode, I rant about the movie going experience, the marketing surrounding it, and how’s it’s gone from distraction to infraction.

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I went to the movies to see the new blockbuster WANTED starring Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman during its opening weekend. My review? A great summer action movie that played out as The Matrix meets Office Space. Very slick. Very enjoyable.

But NOT so enjoyable was the process leading up to the movie. The pre-game, if you will, was unbearable.

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I look into an unlikely field, the construction industry – and how they are – and are NOT – using the latest technology. I interview my friend David, a construction manager in Oakland, California and get his take on everything from digital GPS surveying equipment to Motorola push-to-talk phones.

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I also tell a hilarious story about my encounter at the W Hotel in Manhattan with a few hard core Iron workers sipping neon green Apple Martinis.